The crux of the LDS-LGBTQ+ dilemma is most frequently characterized by the perception of three limiting life paths when one comes out as gay: 1) Stay in the church and live a celibate life. 2) Enter a mixed orientation marriage. Or 3) Date and allow yourself to fall in love according to your attractions, and necessarily leave a church you may still love and value. But what about when none of these options feels like the right fit? What if you choose to carve out your own way by entering a same sex marriage while still showing up to your faith community of choice, even when its underlying teachings seek to minimize your union? For Liz and Ryan Giles of Yakima, WA, that is the exact path they’re navigating right now, and their new Instagram account @the.fourth.option’s rapidly growing following suggests many others are also intrigued by this option.
THE SMITH FAMILY
For 20-year-old Kyle Smith, life’s a journey—and quite literally, as right now he’s culminating eight months of adventure spent working in Alaska and backpacking through Europe, before taking a month-long cruise through Hawaii and Polynesia with his boyfriend, Ethan. The sense of freedom he now feels seems apropos for a high achieving young man who earned it, after excelling during four years of varsity soccer and his state-champion show choir as a teen, while also being elected his high school student government’s head boy and earning a 4.0 GPA. But discoveries and admissions along the way did result in misunderstandings and challenges in Kyle’s church community and even among his loved ones, that thankfully, with the support of his family, he was largely able to overcome…
Read MoreTHE J KIRK RICHARDS STORY
On this day of Thanksgiving, just on the periphery of BYU Provo, a group of loved ones encircles a table. They sit near a brightly hued stained-glass window that provides a direct view of the historic LDS temple just a couple blocks away. But within these walls, this gathering at this table is embracing one of their own. A rainbow hangs over the child’s head. Rich amber, indigo, and cerulean hues permeate through their tablecloth. In this room, this child is “Encircled” by love. And this hypothetical child is safe here, on the walls of the Encircle home one of artist J. Kirk Richard’s first iconic, affirming paintings still calls home seven years later…
THE JEFF ANDERSEN STORY
His face is a familiar one for many in the LDS-LGTBQ+ space. Several may even consider Jeff Andersen of @latter.day.stonecatchers their pseudo-Sunday school teacher—you know, the one who meets you in the parking lot (via Instagram) on days your actual Sunday School teacher has taken the discussion to a place where it feels necessary for you to walk out. (Why are there so many days when it feels necessary to walk out?) This is a question Jeff Andersen understands. While he currently has no personal “skin in the game” in the form of an LGBTQ+ immediate family member that he’s aware of, Jeff has made it his mission to catch the stones hurled and offer solidarity to so many who long to hear they’re loved, just as they are…
Read MoreThe Ence Family
In February of 2020, Andrew and Tiffany Ence of Stansbury Park, UT were preparing for a trip to Italy, where Andrew had served a mission for the LDS church. It was the first time they’d be leaving their three kids (Winter—now 20, Matthew—17, and AJ-13) for an extended period. Tiffany went downstairs one Sunday morning to see if they were ready for church, and to talk to her oldest about expectations while they were gone. Winter started crying and said, “I don’t want to go to church.” Then and there, Winter dropped the bombshell that they were bisexual. Winter begged Tiffany not to tell Andrew. Tiffany reassured Winter their dad would be more understanding than they thought, while silently fearing what Andrew might actually say about the situation. She delayed the conversation, but a few days before their flight to Italy, Andrew told his wife he’d seen a text on Winter’s phone that she should be aware of. Responding to a girl who’d texted, Winter replied, “I feel like I need to tell you—I know you like me, but I’m bisexual.” Tiffany looked at her husband with trepidation and said, “What do you think?” Andrew’s reply was a massive relief: “We just need to love him.” (Winter, who is nonbinary, now prefers they/them pronouns)…
THE JEAN & ALLISON MACKAY STORY
At 16, Jean MacKay is already an accomplished pianist, singer, and composer. He’s also a stage actor who played Mr. Macafee in Bye, Bye Birdie as well as the challenging role of Man in Chair in The Drowsy Chaperone. A serious academic, Jean has been taking college courses through ASU, and will graduate early from high school later this year. Intrigued by the bio-medical side of psychology, Jean hopes to become a forensic psychiatrist and study how various substances affect the brain to hopefully help rehabilitate people who have gone through the criminal justice system...
Read MoreTHE LAUREN JONES STORY
Lauren Jones has spent much of her life running. “Running always felt like a safe place for me,” she says. “I was always the skinny kid who was never picked for other sports, but who could run fast. I never felt like I belonged with the boys. Once I started running, I no longer felt lost.” With a father in the military, high school was spent in Germany and then Norway where Lauren first signed up for a cross-country team. In a 2018 feature story on athleteally.org, she shared, “I fell in love with running because I’ve always been an independent person, and I love that running is all about doing my best as an individual”...
Read MoreTHE ELLSWORTH FAMILY
(Content warning: suicidal ideation)
Gina Ellsworth’s first tip-off occurred when she and her daughter Lila were leaving to go to church. Lila’s phone connected through bluetooth to Gina’s car, subsequently streaming the “Questions from the Closet” podcast episode entitled “Am I Gay?” into the quiet space of their garage. Lila quickly fumbled to shut it off. Sensing her panic, Gina didn’t press. But Lila offered that her seminary teacher had recently recommended the class listen to such podcasts to try to have an open mind and understand different perspectives—something Gina found refreshing and “pretty cool.” But when Gina soon after emailed the seminary teacher to say as much, his “not sure exactly what you’re talking about?” response revealed that perhaps Lila had discovered this podcast on her own.
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