His face is a familiar one for many in the LDS-LGTBQ+ space. Several may even consider Jeff Andersen of @latter.day.stonecatchers their pseudo-Sunday school teacher—you know, the one who meets you in the parking lot (via Instagram) on days your actual Sunday School teacher has taken the discussion to a place where it feels necessary for you to walk out. (Why are there so many days when it feels necessary to walk out?) This is a question Jeff Andersen understands. While he currently has no personal “skin in the game” in the form of an LGBTQ+ immediate family member that he’s aware of, Jeff has made it his mission to catch the stones hurled and offer solidarity to so many who long to hear they’re loved, just as they are.
For several years, Jeff and his brother have competed in adventure racing. An outdoors enthusiast, Jeff loves any type of nature retreat; but adventure races bring an entirely different kind of competition to the forest. Over 4-24 hours, competitors canoe, bike, and run through a massive wilderness area containing several checkpoints. A compass and paper map (which they typically receive just an hour before the event) are their only guides. Jeff says, “You can go any direction you want, and sometimes we have to bushwhack through crazy stuff to find the checkpoints. But you just go and do the best you can while enjoying the beautiful but sometimes harsh wilderness you’re in.”
It's a metaphor Jeff has relied on as he’s turned to personal revelation in lieu of handbooks over the past six years since he stepped into the open ally space. Born and raised in “Happy Valley” as a straight, white, cisgender male, Jeff did all the things: he served a mission, attended BYU where he got a master’s degree in accounting, married his wife Jessica in the temple, and they are now the parents of three children. But sometimes, Jeff hears things from the pews that similarly prick other families. Sometimes, Jeff ends up in the parking lot for car church himself, providing comfort, solace, and always Jesus’ teachings in his trademark rainbow-hued bowtie—a wardrobe choice he started about one year ago to present himself as a safe place to any who may need it.
Jeff’s faith expansion first occurred when a job transfer to London opened his mind to other faith traditions as he fell in love with cathedrals and saw people connecting with God all over the world in different ways. He recalls, “Their faith was as beautiful and valid to them as mine was to me.” He hadn’t thought much up until that point about how church could be a struggle for some; but after returning to live in Utah again, a gentleman who Jeff had noticed was always showing up to serve the ward in any way possible, spoke up in Sunday School. Jeff felt a distinct impression: “He is gay. You need to invite him over for dinner.” Jeff and Jessica did just that and while their young children went out to play, the man broke down crying with gratitude at the Andersens’ kindness. He shared that since his difficult recent divorce to a woman, he had been having a difficult time. He loved the church and wanted to be a part of it, but it felt so impossible because others felt he shouldn’t be there. Jeff said this admission was a first for him and it “just felt sooo… wrong.” Jeff resolved he needed to do something about this—that if someone “wanted to be with us at church participating, they should be able to.”
This launched Jeff’s quest to understand more about the LGBTQ+ experience. He read and listened to everything he could get his hands on. The pandemic of 2020 resulted in a welcome break from church for Jeff and family, as did their subsequent move to Virginia, during which they lived with his brother’s family, a situation that necessitated they continue home church longer than most. This sacred time of focusing their spiritual study on inclusive and loving lessons did not make the return to church seem too appealing, but then Jeff and his brother received a unique call to teach an early morning seminary class together. At first, Jeff was hesitant, but having learned of the recent statistic that nearly 20% of LDS youth and YSA identify as LGBTQ+, Jeff felt uniquely called to be a stone catcher among this young audience. He says, “I had an overwhelming feeling that in a seminary class of 20, 4-5 would be LGBTQ+ and needing to know God loved them… I felt really good about being there for them.” Throughout the school year, Jeff and his brother subtly displayed inclusive art pieces including Tara and Sage’s “God is Love” and J. Kirk Richard’s “Friends at Church” to make the visual point that all were loved and included in their class. While there was a family who pulled their child from the class, there were others who lamented the brothers’ departure year-end when Jeff’s job situation made the calling impossible. Jeff says one student came up to him and thanked him for displaying the pictures they did because it was the first time the student ever felt Jesus loving them as they were. Jeff says while that broke his heart to hear that, he felt so grateful the individual trusted him with that information.
While there were 20 kids in that class, Jeff left feeling like there are tens of thousands in his world who needed to hear messages of inclusion. “The thought that anyone might think God wouldn’t love them because of who they were was unbearable to me,” he says. This is when Jeff started his popular Instagram site and podcast, @latter.day.stonecatchers. He admits, “It’s grown a lot more than I ever anticipated.” While Jeff and wife have received pushback in the largely conservative wards in which they’ve lived—being told their expressions of Pride flags and rainbows are “too political” or hearing that they shouldn’t be considered for certain callings, they have taken the time to express to their kids why Jeff wears his bowtie every week: that while doing so puts a target on them, and possibly even the assumption he is gay, but hopefully makes LGBTQ+ people feel included and loved. Once, while driving to the temple with his kids, they considered the matter and asked if they, too, could buy a rainbow bow tie or earrings, willing to take risks in order to represent what they feel is a loving gesture.
One Sunday, there were some things being said in Jeff’s sacrament meeting that he didn’t agree with, and he walked out—wanting to find somewhere where he could feel God’s love. He retired to his truck with his scripture bag, and pulled out the words of Christ. He remembered someone on a podcast saying that in their car is where they often experienced their church on Sundays. Jeff says he felt a unique connection to all of these people throughout the world, sitting in church parking lots, trying to feel God’s love in a place that for many, made it hard to feel that. This is when Jeff’s alternate Sunday school messages began, and have since proven a respite for those seeking Jesus’ stone catching ways and words. Jeff recognizes how some genuinely feel the impression from above that it’s okay not to go to church, but for those like him who feel called to keep trying because the Lord “has things for (us) to do,” Jeff is dedicated to his ministry.
Jeff says he’s surprised at the massive variety of people he now hears from—most being LGBTQ+ individuals or family members. Many left the church five or more years ago, but are still seeking messages from the Spirit or want a relationship with God but don’t feel wanted at church. Jeff especially credits the moms of LGBTQ+ kiddos, saying, “I honestly believe LGBTQ+ moms are going to change the church. While it’s not happening as fast as it should, you ladies are amazing.” Jeff attempts to post messages that can be shared by more progressive members to their more by-the-book friends, but recognizes that some posts do push boundaries and he laments that some of his thoughts have resulted in a loss of followers. He greatly appreciates when he hears from people who are not quite in a supportive mindset yet–but are trying.
Jeff is often asked, “Why do you stay?” His response: “This is where I feel God wants me to be. I don’t think it’s the right place for everybody, but through personal experiences, I know this is where God wants me to be. If I did not know that, I would have left.”
Jeff says, “I think we need to be gatherers and not gatekeepers. We need to trust in the divine diversity that’s so evident in God’s creation, and have faith that each of us has been created with a unique purpose that no one else could ever fully understand. Rather than doubting others, we need to see their divinity within and know that God loves them just as they are.” Jeff struggles to see why, “for some reason we’re always trying to leave someone out. We need to knock that off. It’s evident in scriptures and our own church history. We need to trust and believe in God when they say everyone’s in. I don’t understand why we feel we need to prevent people from participating in sacred spaces, whether chapels or temples. God wants them there.”
