It was the 90s, and he didn’t have words for it quite yet, but Scott Mena remembers the first time he had a feeling that he was “different.” While six-years-old, he looked at a two years older boy at his Cortlandt Manor, NY elementary school and felt a little funny inside. As he continued to grow, Scott knew something about his childhood crushes didn’t line up with the majority of his peers. It wasn’t until a few years later when a girl said, “Why are you so gay?” that Scott asked, “What’s that?”
Read MoreTHE DAVID DOYLE STORY
David Doyle has become a familiar name at the LDS-LGBTQ intersection. Some may have heard his poignant thoughts as a guest on a gamut of podcasts or at his Instagram site, @nerdygaymormon. Many have read his essay about how to better support the marginalized in Christian Kimball’s recent book, Living on the Inside of the Edge. And Lift and Love followers may recognize him as the facilitator of the Over 30 LGBTQ+ monthly support group. As a 52-year-old single gay man who serves as his Florida stake’s executive secretary, David appreciates that his unique status has granted him a plethora of interactions with general authorities—some after stake meetings, and some via invitation for David to meet them at church headquarters. While he doesn’t lead such introductions with his orientation, he says it doesn’t take long for it to come up when he’s typically asked about his lack of a wife and kids. And he doesn’t hold back when asked to share his thoughts about being asked to walk an extra difficult path in the church…
Read MoreTHE FRAZE FAMILY
Mell Fraze’s childhood home was one in which the Bible sat on the bookshelf beside the Dao De Jing, the Pearl of Great Price, and a myriad of philosophy books. Raised by a scientologist mom and a universalist dad who attended a “new agey Christian church,” she was instilled with the ideology that everyone has a different path in life, and it’s the individual’s job to ask the questions and do the research to find which path works for them. Mell was an apt audience. As a neurodivergent individual, her brain is wired to ask questions. Now as a mother of six kids (ages four to 16) with her seventh due in August, she likewise encourages her children to explore how when something’s not working, to consider what might fit better instead…
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THE DEBRA OAKS COE STORY
I always considered myself a good Latter-day Saint Mom who taught her children to “choose the right.” Among other things, I taught them not to drink, not to smoke, and not to be gay…
Read MoreTHE SHARP FAMILY
Jordon and Liz Sharp of St. George, UT, will never forget the day they stopped to pick fresh raspberries. It was a day that felt intentional, and in hindsight—inspired. A day that would ultimately affect the trajectory of their lives. At the time, Jordon had just been called as a young bishop for their ward while going to school to get his doctorate and working full time, while Liz was working part time as a registered nurse and raising their family. As the parents of then four young children, there were literally not enough hours in their day to check all the required boxes of duty. So, Liz was surprised at Jordon’s invitation to join him for a spontaneous and rare day date to go on a drive and hand deliver items to city leadership in the nearby town of Enterprise, UT. On their way back, they saw a sign advertising fresh raspberries and stopped to buy a flat. Upon arriving, the farmers shared that they could simply purchase the raspberries or pick their own. Per usual, Jordon was in a hurry and wanted to quickly buy the fruit and go, but Liz convinced him to pick up a basket and start picking, feeling this would be a peaceful and worthwhile experience to share together. Jordon begrudgingly complied.
THE CRUMP FAMILY
Kim Crump of Hooper, Utah was a foot soldier in the LDS faith she embraced as a youth. She attended seminary and many times took herself to church alone as a teen. Kim married her high school sweetheart in the Logan Temple while her parents stood outside, waiting. A few years later, they followed the tried-and-true path of bringing three children into the world who went to Primary every Sunday, were baptized at 8 years old, and did temple baptisms for the dead as soon as they turned 12. Kim and Justin Crump paid their tithing monthly, accepted every calling asked of them, and were diligent in holding FHE, family prayer, and doing genealogy. General conference weekend was a special event in the Crump household, complete with treat bags, blanket forts, and a countdown until the prophet would take the podium. Kim valued her testimony and the church’s positions on family, saying, “If there was a model of an active, strong LDS family out there, we were it.”
Read MoreTHE HONG FAMILY
BLAIRE OSTLER
As a ninth-generation descendant of Mormon pioneer stock, notable author and philosopher Blaire Ostler says, “For me, Mormonism is not just a religion, but part of my culture and identity--it’s almost an ethnicity. It’s how I think and see the world. I joke I couldn’t not be Mormon, even if I didn’t want to be—even my rejection of some parts of it is so Mormon.” Equally, Blaire is bisexual and intersex and identifies as queer, saying, “That’s also always been a part of me; it’s how I see the world and navigate life.” Her landmark book, Queer Mormon Theology (published in ’21 by By Common Consent Press), chronicles the juxtaposition of these unique traits that cast people like her in the margins of most circles. But while Blaire was told these two identities couldn’t coexist together, she absolutely knew both existed inside of her. “As one can imagine, having a conflicting view of self can tear at you.”
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