In this short video, Anita from @parenting_in_the_wilderness explains how a parent can still have an influence on their child, even though they can’t control their choices. How do you want to show up in your child’s life?
Read MoreChoosing Between Faith and Family? - Parenting in the Wilderness
Anita from @parenting_in_the_wilderness explains why you don’t have to choose between faith and family.
Read MoreLunch with the Renlunds - A blog post by the Nerdy Gay Mormon (David Doyle)
David Doyle @nerdygaymormon (one of the hosts of the Lift+Love LGBTQ+ Adult Support Community) has a new blog post about his recent experience having lunch with Elder Dale G. Renlund and Sister Renlund:
“I had the opportunity to meet Elder & Sister Renlund. They were cute. Elder Renlund said something, then his wife didn’t exactly correct him, but pointed out his words could mean this or that. I commented it’s obvious she’s a talented lawyer. She looked amused and he said it’s true.
Sister Renlund apologized and said we were going to eat in a little cafeteria, and the food is fine but nothing to write home about. It’s a place we can go without being constantly interrupted. I’m thinking, “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Are we about to eat in the Church Administration cafeteria? The most exclusive spot in town?!!”
Read MoreCan Latter-day Saints Support Gay Marriage?
In this video, Lift+Love Founder Allison Dayton explains why Latter-day Saints Support Gay Marriage. Her explanation includes quotes and video clips from Elder D. Todd Christofferson.
Read MoreWhy Does Pride Get an Entire Month? - Video by Allison Dayton
In this video, Lift+Love Founder Allison Dayton answers a common question - Why does Pride Month lasts an entire month (when many other celebrations/holidays like Mother’s Day only last one day)?
Read MoreHeterosexual Marriage for Those Who Experience Same-Sex Attraction? (CHURCH WEBSITE)
D. TODD CHRISTOFFERSON: “We don’t counsel people that heterosexual marriage is a panacea. You’ll see in some of these experiences that are related on this site that it has been a successful experience in a few cases, or some have expressed the success they have found in marriage and in raising a family and the joy and all that has filled out and blessed their lives as a consequence. But that, we know, is not always true. And it’s not always successful. Sometimes it’s been even disastrous. We think it’s something that each person can evaluate, and they can discuss both with priesthood leaders and family and others and make decisions. But we simply don’t take a uniform position of saying, ‘Yes, always,’ or ‘No, always’” (D. Todd Christofferson, “Purpose of This Website,” ChurchofJesusChrist.org).
Read MoreAre There Restrictions on Church Participation for Gay Members? (CHURCH WEBSITE)
D. TODD CHRISTOFFERSON: “Someone who is adhering to the norm of chastity—someone who is following the covenants and the standards, teachings of the gospel of Christ, though they may be dealing with same-sex attraction—really there is no reason they cannot be fully participative, that they can’t be a full-fledged member of the Church and hold callings and speak and enter the temple and serve there, and all the other opportunities and blessings that can come from Church membership will be available to them”
Read MoreHow Can I Help Gay Church Members Feel Loved, Welcomed, and Inspired at Church? (CHURCH WEBSITE)
CAROL F. MCCONKIE: “It is so important that we understand, first of all, that everyone is in a different place along the path and that we develop an awareness of the people that are around us. I know people who come to church every Sunday so that they can be inspired and uplifted and who just simply walk away feeling judged and unloved and unneeded, like there is no place for them at church. We need to do this differently. We need to be deeply aware of what the purpose of coming to church on Sunday is and make sure that everyone who comes feels loved, needed, accepted, and lifted. Everybody has struggles we don’t even know about. And it’s so important that we be aware that everyone around us is loved of God and that we need to see them through Christlike eyes. And we cannot allow judgment to dictate the way we interact with people. It’s just simply not right. I feel that the Lord places us where we are and connects us with the people around us for a purpose…
Read MoreLGBTQ Church Members - How Do I Minister to the One? (Church Website)
JEAN B. BINGHAM: “When you focus on the one, you can really lift and strengthen. I have had the opportunity to visit different areas of the world. And we have attended church in many different wards and branches. And until you’ve seen people that are different than you, in lots of different ways, I think it is easy to get focused on a very narrow segment and feel like that’s the only way to be. I think when we get outside ourselves, when we consider others, it helps us realize that we are all a family, our family of Heavenly Father. …Someone might say, ‘Well, I don’t have a need for other people.’ But maybe they have a need for you. When you choose to put yourself out there, you are blessing someone else’s life”
Read MoreHow Can I Help Those In My Ward/Stake Feel Loved/Valued/Needed? (CHURCH WEBSITE)
D. TODD CHRISTOFFERSON: “It breaks my heart if someone comes and is very vulnerable and says, ‘I want to try it. I want to be here,’ and then get a cold shoulder or a lack of interest. And that’s tragic. It really is tragic. We have to be better than that…The diversity we find now in the Church may be just the beginning. Frankly, I think we will see greater and greater diversity. In the ancient Church there was tremendous diversity. And it’s not just diversity for diversity’s sake but the fact that people can bring different gifts and perspectives, and the wide range of experience and backgrounds and challenges that people face will show us what really is essential in the gospel of Christ. And that much of the rest, that has been perhaps acquired over time and is more cultural than doctrinal, can slip away and we can really learn to be disciples” (D. Todd Christofferson, “Is There a Place for Me?” ChurchofJesusChrist.org).
Read MoreHow Can I Include or Reach Out? (Church Website)
QUENTIN L COOK: “As a church, nobody should be more loving and compassionate. … Let us be at the forefront in terms of expressing love, compassion, and outreach. … Let’s not have families exclude or be disrespectful of those who choose a different lifestyle as a result of their feelings about their own gender…No family who has anybody who has a same-gender issue should exclude them from the family circle. They need to be part of the family circle” (Quentin L. Cook, “Let Us Be at the Forefront,” ChurchofJesusChrist.org).
Read MoreWhat Should I Do or Say? - Church Leaders (Church Website)
D. TODD CHRISTOFFERSON: “Initial reactions are critical. And the inclination, the temptation, that people have often is anger or rejection. Sometimes it’s simply denial on both sides of the question, whatever it may be. And it’s important to have enough self-control to lay all that aside and just have a little patience and to begin to talk and begin to listen and begin to try to understand better. We lose nothing by spending time together, by trying to understand. Even where there is not agreement on a course to follow at the moment or how to respond or how to react, we don’t have to do everything today. We don’t have to resolve everything in a month or a week or a year. These things are questions of resolution over time and accommodation over time and seeking the will of the Lord over time and guided by Him over time. So I hope we will give ourselves the time and have the patience to listen and understand and not insist on everything being resolved within a certain framework of time” …
Read MoreShould Leaders Recommend Professional Counseling? (Church Website)
“A change in attraction should not be expected or demanded as an outcome by parents, leaders, or professional counselors. However, seeking insight from a professional counselor is a sign of strength and humility. If a person chooses to seek such help, others should respect his or her right to determine the desired outcomes…When one seeks therapy, the Church recommends approaches that respect “client self-determination.” In other words, the individual has the right to determine desired outcomes, and therapists and counselors should respect his or her wishes. For someone who experiences same-sex attraction or identifies as gay, counseling may help the person approach his or her sexuality in healthier, more fulfilling ways. However, counseling and therapy are not needed by everyone. While shifts in sexuality can and do occur for some people, it is unethical to focus professional treatment on an assumption that a change in sexual orientation will or must occur. Again, the individual has the right to define the desired outcome” (“Should I recommend professional counseling to gay members and/or their families?” - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - Resources for Leaders)
Read MoreIs Same-Sex Attraction A Sin? (Church Website)
“Feelings of same-sex attraction are not a sin. President M. Russell Ballard stated:
“Let us be clear: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believes that ‘the experience of same-sex attraction is a complex reality for many people. The attraction itself is not a sin, but acting on it is. Even though individuals do not choose to have such attractions, they do choose how to respond to them. With love and understanding, the Church reaches out to all God’s children, including [those with same-sex attraction]’”
While same-sex attraction is not a sin, it can be a challenge. While one may not have chosen to have these feelings, he or she can commit to keep God’s commandments. The parent of a child who experiences same-sex attraction or identifies as gay should choose to love and embrace that child. As a community of Church members, we should choose to create a welcoming community.” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints website - Resources for Leaders
Read MoreWhat Causes Same-Sex Attraction? (Church Website)
“The Church does not take a position on the cause of same-sex attraction.* President Dallin H. Oaks stated: “The Church does not have a position on the causes of…same-gender attraction” “What Causes Same-Sex Attraction?” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - Resources for Leaders (please note that this current statement indicates the incorrectness of previous assumptions that sexual orientation is caused by poor parenting, sins of the parents, or any other factor - Lift+Love)
Read MoreSame-sex Attraction is Different than Gender Dysphoria (Church website)
“Same-sex attraction* and gender dysphoria* are very different. For example, those who experience gender dysphoria may or may not also experience same-sex attraction, and the majority of those who experience same-sex attraction do not desire to change their gender. From a psychological and ministerial perspective, the two are different”
*For explanation of these terms, visit the Lift+Love terminology page here
Read MoreLabeling Attraction (Church Website)
“There are active, temple recommend–holding Church members who comply with the law of chastity and identify themselves as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. There are active Church members who experience same-sex attraction and never choose to identify themselves using a label”. From the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints website resources for leaders
Read MoreTERMS: Types of Attraction (Church Website)
TERMS FOR TYPES OF ATTRACTION “The most common labels are lesbian (a woman attracted to women), gay (a man attracted to men), and bisexual (a man or woman attracted to both genders). Some women may also use the term gay to describe themselves. People may use other labels, and some who experience same-sex attraction choose not to use a label to describe themselves. How people choose to identify may change over time” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints “What Do I Need to Understand About Same-Sex Attraction?” for Leaders
Read MoreTERM: "Same-Sex Attraction" (Church website resources)
TERM: "Same-Sex Attraction" (Church website resources) “Same-sex attraction* (SSA) refers to emotional, physical, romantic, or sexual attraction to a person of the same gender. If you experience same-sex attraction, you may or may not choose to use a sexual orientation label to describe yourself. Either way, same-sex attraction is a technical term describing the experience without imposing a label. This website uses this term to be inclusive of people who are not comfortable using a label, not to deny the existence of a gay, lesbian, or bisexual identity”
Read MoreDale G Renlund: Suicide (Prevention) and Same-Sex Attraction (Video)
Dale G Renlund: Suicide and Same-Sex Attraction. In this video, Elder Renlund explains that LGBTQ people are often isolated, but we should treat them the way that the Savior would - with more love, care, and inclusion - not exclusion.
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