David Doyle @nerdygaymormon (one of the hosts of the Lift+Love LGBTQ+ Adult Support Community) has a new blog post about his recent experience having lunch with Elder Dale G. Renlund and Sister Renlund:
“I had the opportunity to meet Elder & Sister Renlund. They were cute. Elder Renlund said something, then his wife didn’t exactly correct him, but pointed out his words could mean this or that. I commented it’s obvious she’s a talented lawyer. She looked amused and he said it’s true.
Sister Renlund apologized and said we were going to eat in a little cafeteria, and the food is fine but nothing to write home about. It’s a place we can go without being constantly interrupted. I’m thinking, “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Are we about to eat in the Church Administration cafeteria? The most exclusive spot in town?!!”
When we sat down, I reminded them that when we met several years ago in Brandon, Florida, we took a picture together and the stake president called out, “Every General Authority who takes a picture with David offers to take him to lunch when he goes to Utah.” And here we are, having lunch! We laughed at that.
I noted that when I first met Elder Renlund and disclosed that I’m gay, his immediate response was “Same-sex attraction isn’t a sin, but bullying people over it is.” This reply was unexpected but meaningful to me because it indicated you understand that is part of the experience. People make comments and do things that convey very rejecting messages.
They may or may not intend it that way, but it’s this one, and that one, and another one. It may seem like no big deal to them, but I’m the one receiving such messages over and over and over.
He responded that we are to love everyone. It’s not our place to judge.
I brought up the panel I’m going to be on at the Affirmation conference. Parents of LGBTQ children can ask questions to those of us on the panel. I’m thinking that what I’d like to convey is these are your children, love them. The children are the ones who have to make difficult choices and to live with the consequences…
Parents shouldn't make their relationship & love another tough choice. The Renlunds agreed.
Elder Renlund commented that too often parents think they have to choose between their LGBT child or their church. So often they think of their choices as a binary, either choice A or choice B. He added that limiting our vision to A or B presents a false dichotomy, we can do both. Sister Renlund stated there's usually a choice C if they will look for it, and choice C is always the right choice.
