“I want Shelby to live a life that she loves. I want her to have a relationship with God and feel His love every day. I want her to find a life partner, have a fulfilling career, and just be happy.” These wishes for a child could be echoed by just about any mother in the world. Only for Becky Campbell, she would also love “for the Church to find a better way to include families like mine, whatever that looks like.”
For Becky, a “family like mine” includes husband of 21 years, Dave, who works in information technology for the Associated Press, and children Shelby (19), Tessa (10), Christian (10), and Lilly (9). They live in Herriman, Utah, where Becky works as a medical transcriptionist, freelance photographer, and also stays quite busy taking care of everyone. One thing that sets the Campbell family apart from many in the church is something that Becky says has only brought them closer together: their love and support of transgender daughter, Shelby. “I know that each of our kids has been sent to our family so we could learn from each other. Having a transgender child has been a life-changing learning experience in the best way. Even though we have lots of differences within our family, we are in this together. Family means nobody gets left behind.”
Shelby currently studies Music Production at SLCC. She plays the piano and guitar and records her own music. “Shelby is incredibly empathetic. She feels her emotions deeply and expresses herself beautifully through music,” says her mother. Shelby also values honesty and authenticity, and inspires those qualities in others. Becky says Shelby’s younger siblings “adore her -- they have a special relationship. And she keeps us laughing constantly.”
Shortly before her 17th birthday, Shelby came out to her parents. She started medical and social (mtf) transition in spring of 2020, before coming out to her extended family and the world in September of 2020.
Becky now belongs to our “amazing” online support group for LDS parents of LGBTQ kids, and she values the advice of friends in similar situations who have helped her acknowledge that Shelby is the same person her family has always known her to be. “I think the best advice is to ask Heavenly Father how best to help and love your child.”
When it comes to the church, Becky says she would love for leadership to acknowledge that LGBTQ people and their families are “part of the church and that we matter. I want them to see us. I would love for policies regarding LGBTQ people to be more inclusive. I'd love to hear stories and talks where we acknowledge our LGBTQ loved ones.” For everyone else, she offers this advice: “If someone you love comes out as LGBTQ, please let them know you accept them and care about them regardless of what their church activity looks like. Be interested in their lives and accomplishments, especially when it doesn't look like the typical LDS ‘covenant path’ timeline.”
Through loving Shelby unconditionally, Becky says, “I've felt a tiny slice of the love that I know Jesus feels for each of us. I don't love my children because of anything that they accomplish or what I think they could be in the future. I love them exactly as they are, today. I think this kind of love is the Savior's greatest gift to us.”
*** Much thanks to the Campbell family for sharing their story. We’d love to feature your (LGBTQ) family in our weekly Lift & Love at Home profiles! Please dm us. #liftandloveathome #liftandloveorg
